small things.

Nov 20

what would Claudia Kishi do?

So B. got some amazingly good news today, like “holy shit you must be kidding me is it celebratory martini time yet?” news and I am theoretically getting ready to go see him and commence aforementioned celebrating (I like martinis) but instead I am having a fucking crisis here. Because I have decided — melodramatically, of course — that none of my clothes fit or match or work (no, Tim Gunn, shut it, I CANNOT make it work I CANNOT) and 3/5ths of my wardrobe is on the floor or strewn over chairs and I am on my fourth outfit of the past hour and I still hate all of it. The supposedly uberprofesh tulip skirt from h&m turns out to be slightly too small, which I realize immediately after removing the tags. Thirty dollars well spent! My jeans are either too baggy or so tight they’re crotch-eaters (THAT’S COMFORTABLE AND ATTRACTIVE), everything’s shitty, I’m tired of my jewelry, oh god no one has ever suffered like this or ever will.

If I was Claudia Kishi I would just borrow a shirt from my dad and gluegun a bunch of matchbox cars to it BUT I AM NOT HER and right now I trying to calculate how much it would cost to set fire to everything and start over from scratch.

No I am not exaggerating THIS IS A REAL CRISIS.

Nov 19

Marriage and Marines

rypurt:

“I think it would be a strong viral marketing idea if they just kept re-releasing the movie “Stop-Loss” every 6 months” - Me to the Marine who punched me.

Last time I told you about this some idiot was proposing on Tumblr and no one laughed, so I’m telling it again. what, Judd Apatow can do it like 9 times and you are gonna give me shit..ok fine.

Anyway I don’t think it is a good idea to purpose on Tumblr. Namely cause she has the option of saying “no..pwnd” or “Lol” or some other chat room code you might not understand. And also cause she wasn’t tricked into it. My plan to purpose is to secretly hide a ring in Chelsea’s winter gloves and then when she puts them on for work..boom! We are instantly married. Sorry stupid, should of looked in the glove. Those are the marriage rules, nothing she can do about it. Read a bible.

Nov 17

fuckyeahladygaga:toonumb:icewater:suicideblonde

Nov 16

i think it goes without saying that you guys read "what claudia wore" right?

sparkleneelysparkle:

basically kim goes ahead and re-reads my childhood for me….but funnier and smarter than i ever was or could ever hope to be. kim clearly does not have an alcohol problem is what i am getting at.

but here is what i am really getting at: i seriously read everything when i was a child. if i could reach it i was probably reading it. i read stephen king’s “the stand” when i was 9…i didnt understand it and i didnt actually finish it until i picked it up again at the tender age of 16 and it gave me nightmares both times but i got my hands on it and i read. my parents were also obsessed with the holocaust and the revolutionary war so if there was a YA book out there about those I totes read it. i was only allowed to watch an hour (ish) of tv a night and mostly my parents watched cop shows (which i still totally find boring as hell) so i was OUT. and reading bunnicula or some other shit that we got out of the dollar bin at Waldenbooks (we were poor). they were cool with pretty much anything i wanted to read.

the exception? the babysitters club books. they hated them. they would never judge me for reading but if i was reading a BSC book i always got the side-eye from them. i tried to explain that i mostly read it because i wanted to see what stacy and claudia (and sometimes surprisingly maryanne and jessi and in later volumes mallory!) were wearing. but thats the equivalent of saying you read playboy for the articles i would imagine. and my parents never bought it. i knew that the books were shitty. but the outfits! UGH they were so GREAT dudes!!

however, i recently showed them “what claudia wore” and explained that this was a THING that girls did. and they read kim’s work and every once in a while my mom will look at an outfit i have on and make a comment about how its “very claudia kishi” and i die of happiness a little inside.

It’s not an alcohol problem, it’s an alcohol solution. Think positive!

Nov 13

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

notso:

Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce - Telephone

Nov 11

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

indierawk:

Anya Marina - Whatever You Like [TI Cover].

via sexmusic:catplaysmusic:

this one goes out to sparkleneelysparkle.

(via fuckyeahladygaga)

awwww shit.

(via fuckyeahladygaga)

Nov 10

this bitch is off her damn rocker.

“Nostalgia - it’s delicate, but potent. Teddy told me that in Greek, “nostalgia” literally means “the pain from an old wound.” It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards … it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called the wheel, it’s called the carousel. It lets us travel the way a child travels - around and around, and back home again. To a place where we know we are loved.”

(woolsweater:madmenfootnotes)